The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Director:  Rob Cohen
Year Released:  2008
Rating:  0.5

Pitifully lousy cash-in for the Mummy 'series' - and I actually liked the first one! - has more atrocious computer imagery, borrows more from Indiana Jones, is missing Rachel Weisz (who may have actually read the script), has Philly's own Maria Bello filling in (with a British accent, no less!), and struggles with the most basic of blockbuster one-liners (ex. I'm too old for this, you guys are mummy magnets, I hate those darn mummies, and so forth). It follows your standard action formula (three major battle scenes spread throughout the three acts), is fond of clichés and only exists to waste everyone's time and money. In a just world, the budget for this dreck - with the screenplay having failed a Quality Control Check - would be reallocated to something beneficial, like a donated to a Children's Hospital, sent to help rebuild a vaporized city in Louisiana or used to buy Rob Cohen a heart.

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