Red One (2024) review

Jolly ol' St. Nick (J. K. Simmons) - who's so kind he claims he likes the City of Brotherly Love - is abducted by super powerful witch Grýla (Kiernan Shipka) in an effort to "destroy" Christmas (and deny the world's children their violent video games) so Santa's personal bodyguard Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson) has to locate him and forcibly enlists hacker/gambler/absentee father Jack O'Malley (Chris Evans) to help out.  On the surface it seems like it has the potential to be a fun holiday movie considering the cast and high tech gizmos (even Santa's sled is a spaceship) but it's stuck in a no-man's-land of wanting to be part comic book feature and off-beat comedy - neither of which it's good at - and it's also bloated and lackadaisical.  Many of the plot points - divorced Jack doesn't spend enough time with his son, Callum wants to retire but gets dragged back, Santa has a long-lost brother (named Krampus, who's played by Kristofer Hivju) - are unimaginatively recycled from movies with tinier budgets, but Callum's disappointment in the number of people on the "Naughty List" (who don't care they're on there) does apply to these jaded times: all bigoted individuals deserve as a present this December 25th is a piledriver.