Pieces

Director: Juan Piquer Simón
Year Released: 1982
Rating: 1.0

A little kid just minding his own business and putting together a nudie puzzle gets scolded by his mother so he kills her with an axe; forty years later, some lunatic in all black is dicing up co-eds at a college and keeping bits of them to stitch together his own mutant female.  This thoroughly inept slasher film has it all: community theatre-level acting, bad music played at inappropriate times, an absurd cameo by a Bruce Lee impersonator, umpteen red herrings (hint: it's not the closeted anatomy professor) and a lack of consideration for human psychology.  On the positive side, the gore is striking (Simón used real animal blood and organs, which must have reeked) and the ending is ... unexpected: the authorities arrive right on time (unlike real-life) and the student who wants to become a cop gets his nads squeezed to bits.  You can be a eunuch and still uphold the law, can't you?