Metallica Through the Never

Director: Nimród Antal
Year Released: 2013
Rating: 1.5

While a Metallica concert is underway, a roadie named Trip (Dane DeHaan) is sent to get some fuel (or fire or something James Hetfield desires) where he gets into an accident, ends up in the middle of a riot and has to fight a man on horseback (he's actually the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse: Mediocrity). It isn't bad enough the band Metallica peaked with their 1991 release, often called the Black Album - so you sense you're listening to a Greatest Hits compilation for a band who basically gave up working on solid new material and just want to look "cool" - but the poorly-transitioned cutaways to DeHaan's voyage through the apocalypse feel like they come from an altogether different movie. When the Metallica guys bring out their Lady Justice statue (which was on the cover of 1988's ...And Justice for All), they move one step closer to Spinal Tap.