Beautiful Creatures

Director: Richard LaGravenese
Year Released: 2013
Rating: 2.0

Twilight in reverse: in this case, a Southern teen (Alden Ehrenreich) longing for a release from his too-conservative town (and with a head full of 'high culture' and New York University) falls in love with the 'new girl in town' (Alice Englert, Jane Campion's daughter) who turns out to be an immortal witch with a deranged family. Ehrenreich puts in a lot of effort (successfully) to seem charming (and charmed by the lady), but the mostly tacky CGI (that spinning table...), out-of-place references to the Civil War and a messy third act that involves memory loss, an old curse, Jeremy Irons in disguise (surprise!) and a battle between bad witch Momma (Emma Thompson) and good witch Englert ultimately do it in. I appreciate the effort to reference actual literary giants in this - Bukowski, Henry Miller, Burroughs: figures frequently mentioned and quoted on websites such as Tumblr but probably not read in full like they deserve - even though the name-dropping is just another attempt to appear "deep-thinking."