John Dies at the End

Director: Don Coscarelli
Year Released: 2012
Rating: 1.0

Dave (Chase Williamson) sits down with reporter Arnie (Paul Giamatti) to tell him all he knows about a powerful, 'living' drug that's nicknamed "Soy Sauce" which, when injected, makes the user no longer altogether human as well as able to talk to the dead, able to cross dimensions and able to use a sausage as a cellular device. Sometimes trying to be too clever and meta- can have its drawbacks, and this is a ditzy, Makin'-It-Up-As-We-Go-Along movie, transporting its two slacker leads, Dave and John (Rob Mayes), all over the place (shopping malls, police stations, an alternate universe). Want a talking dog that saves the world by taking out a monster that looks like Shuma Gorath with a time bomb? Sure. Want screeching, invisible monsters in cages? Uh-huh. A monster made of meat products with a dead chicken for a head? Yes! It's as if the filmmakers asked a tweaked, imaginative kid to make up the most wild, sometimes incoherent story he/she can think of at random ... and then filmed every utterance. Should have stuck with Kikkoman Lite (now with less sodium!).