Pretty Woman

Director: Garry Marshall
Year Released: 1990
Rating: 1.0

High gloss hooker with a heart of gold (Julia Roberts) meets a capitalist with a heart of gold (Richard Gere), leading to love in all the expected ways. What no one seems to mention is that Roberts is made so clean and sterile as to render the profession of prostitution as harmless as working as a day-time secretary, and that her ultimate freedom as a 'respectable' woman has to be bought and paid for by a man. Someone should have stuck a firecracker up Gere's posterior instead of the gerbil, because he's more lifeless than a Moai statue.