Underworld

Director: Len Wiseman
Year Released: 2003
Rating: 2.0

Exactly the kind of film you'd expect a thirteen-year-old male to love: a story involving werewolves (cool!) fighting vampires (ooh!), with swords (yeeah!), decapitations (eww!) and bloodletting (yuckers!) is given a videogame-like feel (CGI and camera tricks galore), a Dungeons & Dragons-type story line and focuses on British doll Kate Beckinsale in a dominatrix outfit sporting not one but two guns, just like Lara Croft or Chow Yun-Fat (sweet!). Works on atmosphere/mood for a while - and Beckinsale's appeal - before becoming bogged down with too much filler and not enough character development. Frankly, I would have never pictured frail Kate B. ever working in a role like this, but that's why I'm in a chair typing up this paragraph on PC in Pennsylvania and casting agents are making serious money (!?) in Hollyweird staring at headshots all day.